Fuck.

Thats right starting with a bad woooord, damn.

I feel like I'm loosing someone just by thinking that I have to return my violin.
I know it may sound idiotic to be attached to an object. But that object lead to so many wonderful things. I can't help it.

The panic feeling that rose from within has now reached its height.
Gabbing at my throat, raising the speed of my heart.
There's nothing else, I feel nothing.

Shut up, I felt like being "poetic."
GAH, I don't like this, its piling up, all my emotions, erhm...non emotions?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I don't understand how I feel. I do know that it feels sudden and almost surprising I guess. BUT MY GOODNESS, I didn't think it would be this complicated. Needless to say I don't like that I'm stressing over a panic that is starting to overshadow everything. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M PANICKING ABOUT.

On other news. Today I conducted a social experiment, and it was fucking amazing.

Stop and just stare at people. Fade yourself into the background, become the outsider looking in, and my gosh you'll notice hella shit. I watched people's behavior for a good 45 minutes, and in those 45 mins I was able to see how fucked up people are, how unindividualized they are. It wasn't shocking really, but I hadn't just watched people before. I mean I knew what they did, I just never saw it LIVE. haha. I love psychology. I love constant behaviors.





Lord of the Dance, Russian Sailors, Waltz, Perseus, Irish Party.....we made it.

Tomorrow is the last time I'll play these pieces.

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