-Wisconsin point! (:
-And All His Songs Were Sad
-Having Plans.
I don't think anyone knows the extent of how much it means to me to have plans this summer. To actually do things with people in a fairly spontaneous way. I spent my past summers doing absolutely nothing.
And I mean NOTHING.
But now, making plans, getting ready to head out on my own. It means a lot, I feel free. I feel like a normal teenager.
I don't feel as lonely.
Plus I've always enjoyed hanging out with people. And I LOVE coming home at around 11:30 pm AT NIGHT. I love when my mom exaggerates and says I'm always out and never home. No one, I'm telling you, no one from my previous school would believe that I go out and stay out until that time.
I wouldn't believe that either if you told me I would stay out that late before.
I feel so grateful.
Grateful for the change of scenery, the change of people, the emotions.
But more importantly, the memories.
Thank you.
Sunday, June 26, 2011
Sunday, June 19, 2011
O_O
I had a dream that I was crying in my dream, I don't remember the reason.
But I woke up crying.
O_O
But I woke up crying.
O_O
Friday, June 17, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Peut-être un coeur oublié
Harlequin you've outdone yourself.
Gone and got yourself a wreck.
Harlequin can't make you laugh, then no one can.
A story of woe coated in melodious jokes.
A writer pen, quilt, or paper, telling its wit.
Will you and Pierrot always fight?
Could it be that this triangle of portrayed love be a mere mirage
Harlequin, Harlequin, you take the meanings and run.
You hide, you scatter, you make a bad mark.
Pierrot, Pierrot, with mask so white you can't deny
that sadness behind those streaked marks.
I wish you'd stop, stop fighting. For I know.
A dance was not meant for three.
And I rather not choose between the two.
Gone and got yourself a wreck.
Harlequin can't make you laugh, then no one can.
A story of woe coated in melodious jokes.
A writer pen, quilt, or paper, telling its wit.
Will you and Pierrot always fight?
Could it be that this triangle of portrayed love be a mere mirage
Harlequin, Harlequin, you take the meanings and run.
You hide, you scatter, you make a bad mark.
Pierrot, Pierrot, with mask so white you can't deny
that sadness behind those streaked marks.
I wish you'd stop, stop fighting. For I know.
A dance was not meant for three.
And I rather not choose between the two.
Day N9NE.
Got my debit card today.
It was as exciting as I thought it would be :DDDD
~ You're intriguing you know that? And by intriguing I mean what with all them ups and downs.
You're making me dizzy.
It was as exciting as I thought it would be :DDDD
~ You're intriguing you know that? And by intriguing I mean what with all them ups and downs.
You're making me dizzy.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Sunday, June 12, 2011
While reading Clockwork Angel....
I realized I kinda adore Jem, he plays the violin<3
Although I remain torn between him and Will. Thus far (halfway through the book)
Which then lead to something else.
I. MISS. MY. VIOLIN.
In all technicality it wasn't mine, so I just miss having a violin.
Instead of sitting here doing nothing I could be practicing.
It almost feels wrong that I am not even practicing because I got so used to always playing. I have a keyboard, and I could get back to practicing the piano but I dont want to.
I want to play the violin again.
Orchestra at UWM. I think so. :) <3
Goodness, I want to do so many things when I go to college. I have so many interests that I don;t even know how its going to work out. But hopefully somehow it will. :D
Although I remain torn between him and Will. Thus far (halfway through the book)
Which then lead to something else.
I. MISS. MY. VIOLIN.
In all technicality it wasn't mine, so I just miss having a violin.
Instead of sitting here doing nothing I could be practicing.
It almost feels wrong that I am not even practicing because I got so used to always playing. I have a keyboard, and I could get back to practicing the piano but I dont want to.
I want to play the violin again.
Orchestra at UWM. I think so. :) <3
Goodness, I want to do so many things when I go to college. I have so many interests that I don;t even know how its going to work out. But hopefully somehow it will. :D
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Day "five......plus one."
OKAY; Another round of grad party hopppppinggggg.
In today's agenda: Sydney's, Libby's, Jessie&&Brianna's, and Ryan's.
On the way to Libby's I did some very much so needed venting to Sydnee, and we also somehow got lost.
Very lost.
But that is okay, because eventually we found our way to Libby's and that was done. I'll admit though I did panic a bit.
After Ryan's which ended at around 7, whom bytheway has a gorgeous house. OMG. It was amazing, I was amazed. It was....yeah anyways, we went back to Brianna and Jessie's for their afterparty, and them libby, tim and I watched white chicks.
I was probably really annoying because I know that movie like the back of my hand, and know every line to it.....ahahahaha. Then after Reba came, we got some glow sticks and went outside and had a mini "rave". Although the only "rave" part of it was just the glow sticks. Once there was a car coming and we had done the wave, and they drove by creepishly slow...and then one of them yelled out "MOTHERFUCKERS." They were jealous they didn't have glowsticks.
Aside from that creepyness, it was overall incredibly fun. :)
In today's agenda: Sydney's, Libby's, Jessie&&Brianna's, and Ryan's.
On the way to Libby's I did some very much so needed venting to Sydnee, and we also somehow got lost.
Very lost.
But that is okay, because eventually we found our way to Libby's and that was done. I'll admit though I did panic a bit.
After Ryan's which ended at around 7, whom bytheway has a gorgeous house. OMG. It was amazing, I was amazed. It was....yeah anyways, we went back to Brianna and Jessie's for their afterparty, and them libby, tim and I watched white chicks.
I was probably really annoying because I know that movie like the back of my hand, and know every line to it.....ahahahaha. Then after Reba came, we got some glow sticks and went outside and had a mini "rave". Although the only "rave" part of it was just the glow sticks. Once there was a car coming and we had done the wave, and they drove by creepishly slow...and then one of them yelled out "MOTHERFUCKERS." They were jealous they didn't have glowsticks.
Aside from that creepyness, it was overall incredibly fun. :)
Friday, June 10, 2011
Day 25 divided by 5.
Although technically its already Saturday.
Anyways.
Today I woke up at almost 2:30....in the afternoon.
I was shocked.
I've never ever ever ever woken up that late. And I don't remember what time I fell asleep the previous night it was past 2 am, but STILL. DAMN.
One month from yesterday, I will be at Madison for SOAR.
Ain't even gunna lie, I'm kind of excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I'm going for a regular SOAR, an honors program SOAR, and a multicultural SOAR. SO. Its going to be exciting but two days seems to little of time for it. I also found out I get my second article from Mads. The first one was courtesy of Caitlin, she got me pens, now I get a free T-shirt. I'm kind of excited.
Meh, today was bland. Nothing happened.
Tomorrow I get to do a round of grad party hopping, and its going to be interesting how it works out.... :O
Anyways.
Today I woke up at almost 2:30....in the afternoon.
I was shocked.
I've never ever ever ever woken up that late. And I don't remember what time I fell asleep the previous night it was past 2 am, but STILL. DAMN.
One month from yesterday, I will be at Madison for SOAR.
Ain't even gunna lie, I'm kind of excited and overwhelmed at the same time. I'm going for a regular SOAR, an honors program SOAR, and a multicultural SOAR. SO. Its going to be exciting but two days seems to little of time for it. I also found out I get my second article from Mads. The first one was courtesy of Caitlin, she got me pens, now I get a free T-shirt. I'm kind of excited.
Meh, today was bland. Nothing happened.
Tomorrow I get to do a round of grad party hopping, and its going to be interesting how it works out.... :O
Thursday, June 9, 2011
I wish I could
stop time.
And just read.
Read, and read.
Absorb the alternate universe.
Rejoice in an imaginative truth.
Stop time from running out.
I'm not ready.
And just read.
Read, and read.
Absorb the alternate universe.
Rejoice in an imaginative truth.
Stop time from running out.
I'm not ready.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Day 3
Train ride, it was okay.
I saw something, I so didn't want to see though.
Also, I'd like to take this moment to thank my father for making me realize how glad to be going away to college I am. Thanks. Thanks a million.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
I saw something, I so didn't want to see though.
Also, I'd like to take this moment to thank my father for making me realize how glad to be going away to college I am. Thanks. Thanks a million.
Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Side comment meteor.
House Bunny reference.
Back to my point
if he's mad at me, I'm going to seriously get PISSED OFF.
He has no right to be mad at me, I'm the one that should be mad.
I'm within my every right, but he didn't even had the decency to reply to an invitation.
Obviously somethings wrong, a simple no would have sufficed.
But no.
Really.
REALLY?
Ugh. I don't like this.
There I went willingly just letting the situation GO.
NOT EVEN CLAIMING ANYTHING.
Not letting him know how I TRULY felt.
How much it hurt?
&& Now you go and pull this.
I even cared enough to feel bad.
Why, why does it always happen to me?
Why do people have such an easy time ditching me?
And not feeling bad about it.....
Back to my point
if he's mad at me, I'm going to seriously get PISSED OFF.
He has no right to be mad at me, I'm the one that should be mad.
I'm within my every right, but he didn't even had the decency to reply to an invitation.
Obviously somethings wrong, a simple no would have sufficed.
But no.
Really.
REALLY?
Ugh. I don't like this.
There I went willingly just letting the situation GO.
NOT EVEN CLAIMING ANYTHING.
Not letting him know how I TRULY felt.
How much it hurt?
&& Now you go and pull this.
I even cared enough to feel bad.
Why, why does it always happen to me?
Why do people have such an easy time ditching me?
And not feeling bad about it.....
Day 2
Started out with a weird ass dream.
Omg, so there was this grad party, and for some odd reason it was at a beach.
I don't even know whose grad party it was but anyways. OH WAIT, IT was Brody's.........don't ask me why.
But it was. Anyways, there were stations for "bungee" jumping but it was more like parachute throwing. Like you would put on a yellow harness with a parachute on the back and then you get launched up in the sky and then you have to pull the string thing to unfold the parachute and land.
Except people's parachutes werent opening and they just landed as though the ground was made up of cushion stuff. IDK, and then I wanted to get on it but I was terrified of the height and my parachute didn't open, and so it turned out that I didn't even had a parachute! WTF, and then as I was falling I woke up....
xD
Then I went swimming for like 30 mins and my eyes got all red from the chlorine and I think I forgot how to swim.....xD
Took a nap.
Woke up to fb messages about wanting to do something! Laura, Sydney, Sydnee, and Jamie, came over and we walked to the gas station to get foood. It was a lot of fun :) Everything was 129830918230918092 times funny, and we spammed facebook with all of our silly sayings:
"Laura is my sarcasim meter, and shes not hungry, so it should be working."-SydnEE
"Do the dolphins in your bathroom have a name?"
"......no."
"CAN I NAME THEM." -sydNEY
I have dolphins names dusty&dinkie~
"My tongue was like really wet so I felt the need to dry it"-SydNEY
"omg my memory is full.....my phone's memory i mean."-sydnee
I'm afraid my book got lost in the mail... and some creepy mailman is reading it...... Sydney Chipman
-My pockets vibrating.- sydnee.
Omg, so there was this grad party, and for some odd reason it was at a beach.
I don't even know whose grad party it was but anyways. OH WAIT, IT was Brody's.........don't ask me why.
But it was. Anyways, there were stations for "bungee" jumping but it was more like parachute throwing. Like you would put on a yellow harness with a parachute on the back and then you get launched up in the sky and then you have to pull the string thing to unfold the parachute and land.
Except people's parachutes werent opening and they just landed as though the ground was made up of cushion stuff. IDK, and then I wanted to get on it but I was terrified of the height and my parachute didn't open, and so it turned out that I didn't even had a parachute! WTF, and then as I was falling I woke up....
xD
Then I went swimming for like 30 mins and my eyes got all red from the chlorine and I think I forgot how to swim.....xD
Took a nap.
Woke up to fb messages about wanting to do something! Laura, Sydney, Sydnee, and Jamie, came over and we walked to the gas station to get foood. It was a lot of fun :) Everything was 129830918230918092 times funny, and we spammed facebook with all of our silly sayings:
"Laura is my sarcasim meter, and shes not hungry, so it should be working."-SydnEE
"......no."
"CAN I NAME THEM." -sydNEY
I have dolphins names dusty&dinkie~
"My tongue was like really wet so I felt the need to dry it"-SydNEY
"omg my memory is full.....my phone's memory i mean."-sydnee
I'm afraid my book got lost in the mail... and some creepy mailman is reading it...... Sydney Chipman
-My pockets vibrating.- sydnee.
It was kind of awesome. Anyways, tomorrow I'm looking forward to the train ride! :)
I also got my BARBITAR today :DDD THANKS SYDNEY(:
Monday, June 6, 2011
Day 1
I decided that I will dedicate my blog for everyday before I go to madison. Just high lighting some events that happen, so I'll be able to look back to Summer 2011!
So far:
-All night grad party=funnn<3
Although I must say not being given a goodbye by someone kinda hurt, I thought since we had basically hung out for most of the night it would at least mean getting a goodbye. Guess not. Oh well :3
-Jamie's
Sydnee, oh my goodness, Sydnee! She was hilarious.
"Option A, option squiggly"
"THE SUN IS ORANGE."
Oh wow, she was intoxicated through a natural high known to human kind as sleep deprivation.
Then we talked, and I was able to get things off my chest, and just move on.
Taco, bro.
-Alex's grad party
Ah, it was fun, it kinda had a different feel to regular parties or gatherings that we've had, maybe just cause we are newly official graduates. And kinda more mature, even though we obviously had immature conversations. But that's just how we are.
-Kassie's grad party
Laughter, laugh laugh laugh, that is all we did.
And it was a fun time. We played games, and watched a movie, it was chill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Afterwards the air was cleared, and the box was given back. I'm choosing to just let it go, cause I rather not be mad at anyone.
I got home at like 3pm today.
I felt kind of legit because I hadn't been home for the whole weekend, and it kind of made me feel like I've sort of begun inching closer to crossing the threshold of adulthood.
I went back to school today to put away Franchesko; it was sad. I kind of just want to go back and play with them on Friday. :)
Anyways. That is an up-to-date update. Ha.
So far:
-All night grad party=funnn<3
Although I must say not being given a goodbye by someone kinda hurt, I thought since we had basically hung out for most of the night it would at least mean getting a goodbye. Guess not. Oh well :3
-Jamie's
Sydnee, oh my goodness, Sydnee! She was hilarious.
"Option A, option squiggly"
"THE SUN IS ORANGE."
Oh wow, she was intoxicated through a natural high known to human kind as sleep deprivation.
Then we talked, and I was able to get things off my chest, and just move on.
Taco, bro.
-Alex's grad party
Ah, it was fun, it kinda had a different feel to regular parties or gatherings that we've had, maybe just cause we are newly official graduates. And kinda more mature, even though we obviously had immature conversations. But that's just how we are.
-Kassie's grad party
Laughter, laugh laugh laugh, that is all we did.
And it was a fun time. We played games, and watched a movie, it was chill.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Afterwards the air was cleared, and the box was given back. I'm choosing to just let it go, cause I rather not be mad at anyone.
I got home at like 3pm today.
I felt kind of legit because I hadn't been home for the whole weekend, and it kind of made me feel like I've sort of begun inching closer to crossing the threshold of adulthood.
I went back to school today to put away Franchesko; it was sad. I kind of just want to go back and play with them on Friday. :)
Anyways. That is an up-to-date update. Ha.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Oh my.
Today's was the last day of school.
It was interesting.
To say the least. Partying comes next. :)
It was interesting.
To say the least. Partying comes next. :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Award
Tonight there were three awards passed out. Libby, Alex, and I got one. ME. I got The Diane Balko Award. I received a speech from Mrs. Balko, and she is one of the most courageous, adorable, kind hearted, I've had the honor to meet. Not only did I meet her, but I received an award from her. A recognition of how I busted my butt off and improved in my playing skills.
It was so touching, I cried. I broke, and I started to cry.
I tried holding it back in but I couldn't do it. It was like getting recognized by such an amazing person could not be happening to me.
It was so emotional, and meaningful.
This is the first award, thats EVER made me cry.
And my mother wasn't there to see me being recognize in a stage full of people, she didnt watch me.
She would have been so proud.
I feel pretty damn proud of getting an award from Mrs. Balko, and being congratulated afterwards. Lol, my dad gave me a hug, but I don't think he really understood well what was happening. x[
My last concert.
And it was beautiful.
It was so touching, I cried. I broke, and I started to cry.
I tried holding it back in but I couldn't do it. It was like getting recognized by such an amazing person could not be happening to me.
It was so emotional, and meaningful.
This is the first award, thats EVER made me cry.
And my mother wasn't there to see me being recognize in a stage full of people, she didnt watch me.
She would have been so proud.
I feel pretty damn proud of getting an award from Mrs. Balko, and being congratulated afterwards. Lol, my dad gave me a hug, but I don't think he really understood well what was happening. x[
My last concert.
And it was beautiful.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Fuck.
Thats right starting with a bad woooord, damn.
I feel like I'm loosing someone just by thinking that I have to return my violin.
I know it may sound idiotic to be attached to an object. But that object lead to so many wonderful things. I can't help it.
The panic feeling that rose from within has now reached its height.
Gabbing at my throat, raising the speed of my heart.
There's nothing else, I feel nothing.
Shut up, I felt like being "poetic."
GAH, I don't like this, its piling up, all my emotions, erhm...non emotions?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I don't understand how I feel. I do know that it feels sudden and almost surprising I guess. BUT MY GOODNESS, I didn't think it would be this complicated. Needless to say I don't like that I'm stressing over a panic that is starting to overshadow everything. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M PANICKING ABOUT.
On other news. Today I conducted a social experiment, and it was fucking amazing.
Stop and just stare at people. Fade yourself into the background, become the outsider looking in, and my gosh you'll notice hella shit. I watched people's behavior for a good 45 minutes, and in those 45 mins I was able to see how fucked up people are, how unindividualized they are. It wasn't shocking really, but I hadn't just watched people before. I mean I knew what they did, I just never saw it LIVE. haha. I love psychology. I love constant behaviors.
Lord of the Dance, Russian Sailors, Waltz, Perseus, Irish Party.....we made it.
Tomorrow is the last time I'll play these pieces.
</3
I feel like I'm loosing someone just by thinking that I have to return my violin.
I know it may sound idiotic to be attached to an object. But that object lead to so many wonderful things. I can't help it.
The panic feeling that rose from within has now reached its height.
Gabbing at my throat, raising the speed of my heart.
There's nothing else, I feel nothing.
Shut up, I felt like being "poetic."
GAH, I don't like this, its piling up, all my emotions, erhm...non emotions?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.
I don't understand how I feel. I do know that it feels sudden and almost surprising I guess. BUT MY GOODNESS, I didn't think it would be this complicated. Needless to say I don't like that I'm stressing over a panic that is starting to overshadow everything. I DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M PANICKING ABOUT.
On other news. Today I conducted a social experiment, and it was fucking amazing.
Stop and just stare at people. Fade yourself into the background, become the outsider looking in, and my gosh you'll notice hella shit. I watched people's behavior for a good 45 minutes, and in those 45 mins I was able to see how fucked up people are, how unindividualized they are. It wasn't shocking really, but I hadn't just watched people before. I mean I knew what they did, I just never saw it LIVE. haha. I love psychology. I love constant behaviors.
Lord of the Dance, Russian Sailors, Waltz, Perseus, Irish Party.....we made it.
Tomorrow is the last time I'll play these pieces.
</3
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